Did you forget?

"Did you forget that I was even alive? Did you forget everything we ever had? Did you forget about me?" - Demi Lovato (Don't Forget)

I'm done with this. I'm done pretending. I'm done acting like I don't care. You're wearing me down instead of building me up. You aren't a true friend. You're only there for me when you want to me, when it is convenient to you. You expect more than you'll ever give. You're spoiled. You may me feel stupid. Every single thing that I say, you say something that makes me feel dumb. You make me feel bad about myself and my image of myself. It's over.

God is Great.

God created each of us uniquely to carry out a special gift in our world. Our mission on His earth is to discover what his divine plan for each of us is. I'm searching for that plan. What is my job while I'm here on earth? I don't mean police officer, teacher, doctor, or whatever. I mean my job as a person, my mission to carry out for God. We went to a fashion show today that was based on dressing modestly and carrying out God's will. It taught me that we are all special and unique in God's eyes. We weren't just put on earth for no reason, there was a reason. God wanted us to carry out his will and to be a living testament to his wonderous works. And that is what I'm trying to do. I'm trying to show that I'm a Christian by my love, by my care, by my compassion, and by my actions.

Life really sucks sometime.

I'm sick of it. I just can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that everything is okay, when my heart is telling me otherwise. I can't pretend that everything is okay between me and her, when in reality, everytime I'm around her I get upset. I can't pretend that I don't care when she puts me down, because it hurts more than anything. I can't go on like this. I tell myself this so much, but I still come back to her without trying to do. I can't stand that she thinks that I depend on her just because my best friend moved away. I can't stand feeling stupid when she's around because she's always saying mean things to me.I'm done with this. I'm not going to ruin my life over it.